Other than thinking about the Back to the Future trilogy, my mind often wanders to such skits as the one below when the topic of psychic readings comes up:
What qualifies one to be a psychic? Based on my experience, the answer is really this... nothing at all. What experience has developed this opinion you might ask? One, a tarot card reader who doubled as a bartender at a golf course (a.k.a - an alcoholic of gargantuan proportions). I'm not really even sure if she knew what she was doing, but I can tell you this ... if "witches" really exist, she is one of them. Experience #2 occurred a few years ago when my lady friend decided to send away for an internet psychic reading, so that I could better understand where I came from... huh? I'm already confused honey, but I'll indulge. Anyway, 4 weeks later a white "tape" (note - you couldn't put it on a CD ... clearly a red flag) arrived in the mail enclosed in an envelope that was marked with a fingerprint and one name... that name of course was Guardian. Who else would it be. So, in his infinite wisdom, guardian claimed that I had been a priest in at least 4 lifetimes. Additionally, in each of these lifetimes I was burned to death for my strong opinions... Guardian went on to claim that I would have two children (check), live in a Tudor home (check), and that this home would be located near the water (check) ... shit ... maybe this isn't as much bullshit as you would think. Even crazier, a priest named J.P. once tried to convince me to become a "man of the cloth" ... or was he trying to convince me to do something else... it is foggy given the drugs involved.
* Update * - After writing this, I impregnated my lady friend just to fuck with Guardian's predictions. Take that Guardian ... take that.
